Saying “I hate kids” is discrimination, plain and simple.
It is an -ism: Ageism, to be precise. Similar to any other form of prejudice like racism, sexism.
It is no different from saying “I hate women / gays / blacks / old people / <insert any other group with similar characteristics>.”
Underneath all those layers of social conditioning and cultural contexts, what people *usually* mean when they utter this phrase is some form of:
I do not want the responsibility of caring for or raising a child.
I am unsure of what to do around unpredictable behaviors.
I’m not sure how to talk to or be around kids.
These are perfectly okay feelings to feel, so why not say that instead? Why direct hate at a specific group of humans who share common characteristics, most of which are not yet in their control? There are so many things problematic about using that phrase, no different from the problems that are associated with racist words about a specific group of people.
Notice, that the feelings underneath are actually about the person uttering those words, but a lack of self-awareness can make it seem like it’s about the group towards whom they are directing their hate.
Unfortunately, mainstream parenting perpetuates many myths about expectations from children (especially the youngest ones) which is in the common (un)consciousness. Lack of self-reflection in adults pushes these ideas deeper along. This normalizes discrimination.
It’s completely okay to not have your own children or not want anything to do with caring for or raising one yourself. Absolutely nothing wrong with that – that is a lifestyle choice depending on what type of life you want to lead. But no life choice ever should give anyone the right to hate an entire group of people. That is pure prejudice.
Children are people too. Whole people. Their smaller size is not an excuse to treat them like lesser humans worthy of your hate.
It is no different from meeting a person who doesn’t speak your language and has very different traditions and culture. Do you hate their entire community because they are different?
So the next time someone utters those words in your presence, please do call out the prejudice in those words by inviting them to reflect.